1/28/06

Its been a while since my last post but i'll ensure everyone nothing good has changed. It is saturday and I am at work because tuesday someone broke into my car and I had to go get it fixed. So now I am making up my hours. SUX.

It has been 5 full days since I have completely stopped taking Paxil. I don't know if I am in withdrawal or just thinking I am in withdrawal but I feel like crap. I feel like I am rotting inside. Like my lungs and other organs are giving way. Its hard to breathe and I can't even take a long walk because I get so exausted and fatigued so quickly that I need to lay down. Sitting doesn't even help. Normally this would have to do with your heart but once again I am being assured it is not my hear. My back and leg still both hurt a lot and I am still popping pain killers everyday to get by. There are sooo many more symptoms but there is no point in listing them because no one is really listening or giving any feedback.
Two things will come out of all this one day.

1) Either I will overcome this dreaded nervous/mental state and go on to live a normal life
or
2) They will finally find what's wrong with me and either I will die sooner or later from it or be put on MORE pills to make a pathetica attemt at life.

Well I am only 23 and was pretty much happy only 8 months ago. Me now 8 months late is now a different person. I hate existing.

I don't know what to do. I honestly dont.