After New Years 2006
First of all Happy Belated New Years to everyone. Let me begin by saying I went upstate NY for new years. As I watched people skiing I stopped took a step back and really reflected on the fact that my leg and back are screwed up and that I should not skii even though I really wanted to. Then I walked around for about half an hour with a friend and lemme tell you, I came back to the house with my legs being more tired than the people who went skiing. What does that mean?? It means to my anxious self that I have some sever musle atrophy because this was not really a streneous activity, but in reality it means hit the gym because you are out of shape kind of thing. I would, but once again back and leg hurt with not much explanation and getting worse by the day.
Ok back to the celebrating park. First night I got really drunk. And I mean really drunk. I was dancing all over the place, laughing making stupid remarks, my friends started pouring me shots of water instead of grey goose and I didn't even realize, I took them like they were the vodka I thought they were. Then I approached this girl who was laying on the couch and started a really drunken conversation that lasted for a long time. (like 2 hrs) . Let me clear this up a bit. I don't usually do this, in fact I never approached anyone unless I knew they were interested in me. From what people tell me I was talking to her but I was like on top of her or something. I promised her that the next day I would remember everything we spoke about, but after mistereosly waking up in her bed the next morning and asking her wtf happened and what we spoke about, she said since I don't remember it is not important. Oh well, shit happens. I pretty much spent the rest of the 6 days there with her. So yes things between us may lead to something, I don't know. I got away from my symptoms for sometime but they were still there with me pretty much the whole time. I just had other things on my mind.
Its now the 4rth and I am at work and again I feel tightness at the back of my head/neck, my skin is all weird feeling. My eyes feel sensitized, kinda burning like. Chest kinda feels warmish, and some fingers are tingling. I am so tired of this bs. Why doesn't this just go away. How long can this torture go on. I am again having thoughts that this might not be anxiety/nerves but maybe something physiological and I am trying to remind myself that I had a lot of tests that said i am helthy but to no use. My back and leg hurt so much and I feel almost poisoned from taking pain killers on a regular daily basis for several months now. I don't even know what to do. Doctors got no where, I haven't tried a chiropractor. Anyone got thoughts on this.
I don't know what I need. I should be happy and I think I would be if I didn't have all these fucking symptoms. Fuck!!!!!
I'll end at this to everyone:
I wish you all that in 2006 all the things that were bad become good for you, and all the things that were good in 05 get even better in 06.
Adios.
Ok back to the celebrating park. First night I got really drunk. And I mean really drunk. I was dancing all over the place, laughing making stupid remarks, my friends started pouring me shots of water instead of grey goose and I didn't even realize, I took them like they were the vodka I thought they were. Then I approached this girl who was laying on the couch and started a really drunken conversation that lasted for a long time. (like 2 hrs) . Let me clear this up a bit. I don't usually do this, in fact I never approached anyone unless I knew they were interested in me. From what people tell me I was talking to her but I was like on top of her or something. I promised her that the next day I would remember everything we spoke about, but after mistereosly waking up in her bed the next morning and asking her wtf happened and what we spoke about, she said since I don't remember it is not important. Oh well, shit happens. I pretty much spent the rest of the 6 days there with her. So yes things between us may lead to something, I don't know. I got away from my symptoms for sometime but they were still there with me pretty much the whole time. I just had other things on my mind.
Its now the 4rth and I am at work and again I feel tightness at the back of my head/neck, my skin is all weird feeling. My eyes feel sensitized, kinda burning like. Chest kinda feels warmish, and some fingers are tingling. I am so tired of this bs. Why doesn't this just go away. How long can this torture go on. I am again having thoughts that this might not be anxiety/nerves but maybe something physiological and I am trying to remind myself that I had a lot of tests that said i am helthy but to no use. My back and leg hurt so much and I feel almost poisoned from taking pain killers on a regular daily basis for several months now. I don't even know what to do. Doctors got no where, I haven't tried a chiropractor. Anyone got thoughts on this.
I don't know what I need. I should be happy and I think I would be if I didn't have all these fucking symptoms. Fuck!!!!!
I'll end at this to everyone:
I wish you all that in 2006 all the things that were bad become good for you, and all the things that were good in 05 get even better in 06.
Adios.
posted by Steve at 6:53 AM
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